I’m addicted to drama. Always have been. But being clean for all these months I’m learning how to handle uncomfortable situations in a more positive way. With much better outcomes.
I’ve learned that it’s ok to feel like shit sometimes. To feel uncomfortable because someone said something troubling or because I received an email or text I wasn’t expecting.
So instead of instantly reacting to some drama that triggers an unhealthy response from me, I sit back. I don’t type or text or say what is pounding in my brain to get out.
I give it 5 minutes. Do something else, maybe listen to some music or play with Zelda for a while.
And that uncomfortableness I was feeling ALWAYS passes. It does every time. And I didn’t have to do anything! Wow.
Life goes on. I don’t need to be a part of EVERYTHING like I used to think I did. Soon enough I’m back feeling damn good.
Without drugs or pills or anything unnatural, I feel buzzed or high or euphoric at times. Because I’m putting in honest work to feel that way.
I’m learning patience. And discipline.
It certainly hasn’t been easy. It takes real effort. Every day. Every time.